An Explanation of a Phrase
by Stephannie1014
Summary: NOT for CC's... just my form of humor.


_A/N This will not be 'Cupcake' friendly, you have been warned. Also I'm not a writer so keep that in mind as you read my run-on sentences, I'm not going for perfect I'm going for funny. And yes I admit my sense of humor runs way left of normal (if there is such a thing). This all started about a month ago, it was an innocent question asked by someone else. "What does 'balls to the wall' really mean?" I gave my flip answer and never really thought about it again. That is until Lisababe said, "__And you are capable of writing you've proved it more than once!"__ Yes I copied and pasted I didn't want to miss quote. So I wrote this for Christie 'MagnificentSin' for her birthday and decided to bore you with it too._

An Explanation of a Phrase

As Stephanie finished getting her things together to walk out the door she grabbed her purse loving the weight and the power it held within. She couldn't quite understand how Morelli had the nerve to call her over for pizza, beer and balls to the wall make up sex after the way he had yelled and embarrassed her yesterday. But she had the confidence that it wouldn't be happening again anytime soon. She, for once in her life would have the last laugh. With a smile on her face she locked up and headed to her car to drive over to Joe's.

Feeling full she swallowed the last of her beer and set the empty on the coffee table with a satisfied sigh that everything was going as planned. She stood and grabbed Joe with one hand and her purse with the other. Pulling him up the stairs she explained that she wanted to try something she saw on HBO last night and the fool believed her. At the top of the stairs she backed him up to the wall between the bathroom and the guestroom with a firm hand to his chest telling him to stay. Turning away from him she made a show of bending at the waist to set down her purse and take off his shoes. Knowing that his attention was on her ass she quickly and quietly palmed her cuffs from her purse on the way up. Turning to face him she slipped them into her back pocket and worked his shirt up while asking if she could do as she pleased at his nod she pulled off his shirt and tied it around his head to cover his eyes. Talking into his ear she told him to reach over and grab the chin-up bar in the doorway of the guestroom as she popped the button on his jeans and started to work down the zipper. She pulled the cuffs out of her pocket and ran them up his stomach and arm clicking them closed. Now for the other hand she had to reach behind the bathroom door and pull the belt off his robe and tie one end to the door handle and the other to his wrist leaving plenty of slack. Satisfied she worked the zipper the rest of the way down and started to work his pants and boxers off so he could step out of them, tossing them to the far corner of the hall.

Starting at his ankles she ran both hands slowly up his legs all the while humming to keep the giggles at bay. Palming him with one hand she continued up with the other stopping with it at his nipple giving it a little pinch and breathed into his ear that she needed him to bend at the waist and spread his legs so she could reach everything she wanted at the same time. After giving him a squeeze and telling him what a good boy he was she removed her hands and got the last surprise out of her purse. Stepping back with a satisfied smile and unholy gleam in her eye happy that he couldn't see her, she knelt down wetting her thumb. Running her now wet thumb up one side and over the top and back down the other side to distract him from the chill of the metal in her other hand.

Ka-Thunk, Ka-Thunk, Ka-Thunk

She stood and said, "Now, I'm the Bounty Hunter from Hell."

Picking up her purse and skipping down the stairs all the while twirling the staple gun around her finger she laughingly asked who he wanted her to call for help. Through the 'cat in heat' cries she's sure he said his mom or was it the Trenton Times no it was the TPD, she was sure he said TPD. After placing the call with 911 satisfied it would go over the whole police band she let herself out and drove away wondering where she should hide for a few days.

The End

…So my answer was this… "The one thing we did learn in LMT was Steph is good with a stapler." Now if you read that 'phrase' in future books or fan fic and pee your pants laughing blame Lisababe she made me do it. "It's NOT my fault."

sam


End file.
